Stoecker: King of the Pool

After taking on no one in competition Brian Stoecker has been proclaimed king of the pool by Don "I break the rules" Desroches.  Stoecker offered to take on any and all challenges but no one wanted to get in his way on his way to the top of the pool ladder.  

This is a fitting title for Stoecker who has several years of life guarding experience.  It appears all of the years spent at the gym have paid off for Stoecker as he intimidates any opponents he may ever have to face.  It is good to see Stoecker excel at being king of the pool because we all know his is the joker when it comes to Fantasy Football.

Drew No Longer Considered a Man.

First it was ending every sentence with the word hunnie or darling and his man credit began to tumble.  Then he lost all his man credit by wearing matching outfits to the beach on memorial day.  Then he lost all chance of gaining any man credit back when he went opening night to see sex and the city.  We have seen many idontwantfivedollars group members do some unmanly things.  For example, Walker touching Olive when he was peeing, Walker kissing Don, Don getting naked and chasing guys, Chuck not playing football because Steph B was sick but no one has ever had such a quick succession of all man credit that has not allowed them to gain it back.  Drew, we are praying for you.

Confirmed: Preggers!!!

In an idontwantfivedollars news exculsive, we can confirm that a favorite idontwantfivedollars one hit wonder, Kelci Howard, is pregnant.  She has been pregnant for about 5 months.  Kelci is best known for destroying Chuck's street cred at block party '06 and looking good in a bikini.  I don't know how she will look now in a bikini however.

According to our source, Kelci got pregnant about 3 weeks after she broke up with her boyfriend.  It was by a guy who wasn't her boyfriend so needless to say her boyfriend wants nothing to do with her and the guy she had a one night stand with wants nothing to do with her either...SHOCKING!

Let's hope that Ruby Tuesday's pays enough to support two.

Matt Karp is a Typical Long Island Girl

Recently spotted at Mulcahy's Karp has been in many pictures doing annoying things.  I can't quite put my two fingers on it but something is certainly bothering me.  I know i've seen club flooders doing similar things from all my time spent in the VIP section but I can't figure out what it is.

Frange Lost In Pittsburgh

BREAKING NEWS: I just received an urgent message from Olive.  Frange called him with a desperate plea for help!.  He is lost in Pittsburgh with no money and had to make an emergency stop at PSU to get money.  There is no telling how long this will delay him from getting home or if he will even be able to make it to Penn State with no money in a city he has never been before.  More updates as they become available.

UPDATE: According to Olive, Frange Successfully made it to Penn State at approximately midnight.  He enjoyed a night of entertainment at PSU and was quite enthralled by the countless strippers Olive got for him. 

He left this morning and hopes to make it home in time for his 3PM mothers day brunch.

New Blog

The Stupid Apple Store needed me to use my .mac account for "more appropriate to work" things so I have been forced to move the blog to this site.  I will get the updates back in action ASAP.  The likely means after the semester is over.